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March 7, 2003
A daze, a rush, and a long breath
Yesterday was intense.
It started with getting home from class, eating dinner while watching Survivor with Kris. After that we got into a discussion about politics and the war. While I don't think brutal dictators are good, attacking people without them attacking first or solid concrete proof presented to independent third parties is not right. I think I started to sound like a luney left-winger after awhile by expressing my distrust in the leaders of our country. That discussion was long winded and followed with some upcoming wedding stress about being able to pull some things off.
Those discussions ended somewhat ok. I get online and just happen to check and see if the friend (Sarah) that I talked about just miraculously happened to be online and she was. We started talking and it was like one of those rushes when you finally find someone you'd been dying to hear from. I won't lie, it also brought up a lot of memories of the past and 99% of them were good. Things went south after I started to pursue a local interest and we broke things off. It was hard for both of us, she said some hurtful things but I don't assign any blame. So we spent forever catching up on how life has changed for us so much but we realized our personalities haven't much. We've grown a bit. I think it's' confusing because you want to have a friend back in your life but things are different now so you have to figure out where things will stand.
Her blog entry shares my same views on it. In the end I'm happy to say the least that we managed to find one another. No matter where life goes, people who were are/were very important have a piece of your heart and when that's gone, it's hard not to feel like something is missing. So when you reconnect, even though things may not be the same as back then, you feel like that piece is back. A lot of this right now is too difficult to explain in words. She definately did it justice in her blog entry. As I sort through my head while it's running 100mph, I'll have more to write.
I talked to Kris a little bit about it this morning. I guess I'm so greatful I am with someone who tries to understand where I am. I don't give her enough credit. I'm lucky to be able to marry her.
Posted by beamz at March 7, 2003 6:27 PM